Sickness and the Role We Play In It

Sickness and the role we play in it can be a simple matter of what roles we are attempting to play in life. Now, not all sickness is because of our lifestyles; however, most of the time we bring sickness on ourselves. Yes - You can worry, work, push your limits and MAKE yourself sick! Excluding genetically passed on diseases, most sickness boils down to lifestyle choices, and worry. I have been alive and in the ministry long enough to see that worry has brought down more people than war, famine or disease ever could. Why do we worry and why do we stress out? Here is one topic I would argue is a primary reason we find ourselves under the thumb of worry: We step out of our INTENDED roles.

I have watched strong women be brought down hard and fast by sickness or disease because they were carrying too heavy a load. Unfortunately, most of those women were carrying the load they chose – even INSISTED upon lugging around. They tried to be the man AND the woman in the relationship. They would contend with their husbands on every issue, and even rationalize that they HAD to step up to the plate because the husband refused to do so. In reality, that husband was just too tired to fight the constant battle of taking his role because he had to fight for it all the time or he was “punished” after the fact. This is not God’s plan and there will be consequences to our constant demand for control!

Now, for all my feminist friends out there who are outraged right about now, let me clear the muddy water. Just as our shoulders are not strong enough to carry the responsibility of our husbands, equally as much, THEIR shoulders are not strong enough to carry out our roles - or God’s role for us either! Our responsibilities are equally as important, but it is PARAMOUNT that we remain in our vein of purpose. Even if you do not believe in God’s plan for men and women and the roles they play, this concept I am sharing is still true! Watch the twice-divorced corporate executive who scratched, clawed and demanded their way to the top fall ill with cancer, and suddenly, he or she starts counting regrets, wishing they had not had their priorities out of order.

You are only ONE person and you cannot MAKE things happen at your command all the time. The world is NOT going to stop turning if you are not there to spin the axis! The strong woman knows her limitations and is okay with them, and equally, the strong man knows his limitations and knows when to step back and let his Maker take the wheel.

What if I am a single male or female who HAS to play both roles? I do not care who you are, you do not HAVE to play BOTH roles. Allow the Lord to be that partner and you will never go wrong on the choices you make, and you will NEVER go lacking. I have known some very successful single adults who will tell you in a heartbeat that they live their lives as though the Lord is living with them (and by the way, He IS) always asking for His opinion, direction and help. They are always open to the wise counsel of a godly pastor, have a strong prayer life and are moldable no matter how difficult their past experiences were. These folks are complete in every way and there is always a calm aura about them. A very wise single mother of three told me recently when I was in awe of the precision of her decision making ability, “I allow Him to guide me… He CAN be trusted!” There is a reason why He stated in the Word, “Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.” Psalms 55:22 Our shoulders were not made to carry the load intended for HIM.

Leadership Ain't for Dummies

Leadership Ain't for Dummies! My former Psychology teacher would disown me for using "ain't" in my speaking and blogging, however, if one steps back and really analyzes the idea, it's true! It IS NOT for dummies (better, Mr. Fleming?) As a leader, it is my heartbeat to help create more, even better leaders than myself.
I have recently passed the torch in a position I was voted into about six years ago as the Ladies Department Secretary for the state of South Carolina United Pentecostal Church. I learned a couple of things (LOL) during the course of my tenure. Perhaps the primary lesson was that a position doesn't necessarily mean you are a good leader. Some folks simply ride the title wave. They covet the title,

but do not want to do the hard things leaders have to do to be a good leader.
Foremost, a good leader has to look inward to the tough issues they have maybe hidden deep down. If we do not understand ourselves, how then can we possibly understand those around us? A good leader will surround himself or herself with those who have strengths they do not possess and weaknesses they need to recognize and maybe even reveal, but not magnify. Everyone wants to be successful in their business, home and social lives. In order to enjoy that success we must maximize the strong points of others and help those weak ones around us to realize their hidden strengths.
I understand very well that this concept completely goes against many success secrets out there in the business world today. It’s a tough, cut-throat society! The secret to the success of many is climbing the ladder and turning off any emotion that would prevent you from climbing across others to get to the top. Only problem with that concept is those leaders with that mindset rarely enjoy a lengthy stay at the top.
Here are five points to help you hone your leadership skills. Hold on, it may become a very bumpy ride. Do you have what it takes to do the hard stuff?
1. Embrace the idea that others have ideas too! One way of getting involvement by others & much needed help for you & the goals you set is to listen to the ideas of others.
2. ADMIT that you are not ALWAYS right and realize that NOT EVERYONE THINKS LIKE YOU DO. Others cannot read your mind… they’re not IN your head. You have to communicate your expectations. When problems arise, sometimes the simple act of saying “I was wrong” will cause those who are following to respect you even more.
3. Empower those around you by delegating. No one died and made you God, so realize you can’t do it all yourself. Involve others who may not do the job as

proficiently as you, but still get the job done AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO IT! You may be in the position at a later date to share what you would have done to improve their work. Let the ones you are responsible for know that you believe in their abilities. Use positive, uplifting words of encouragement. Be excited & it will be contagious.
4. Show a spirit of thankfulness to those around you. Always stress that the goal was reached by each individual effort. Give verbal accolades as much as possible to everyone around you. No one knows the importance of the garbage man or the cleanup person until they are out for a few days!
5. Be honest with yourself and get rid of dead weight (even if it is your own negative thoughts) Surround yourself with people who will add to you and your goals. Not that we should only associate with people who make us look good… that is not the idea here. Simply, put: Avoid those naysayers who are consumed with negativity. Their negative energy will eat away at your entire group, one by one if it ever gets a foot in the door. Negative people will frustrate you on a constant basis until you find a way to weed them out of the leadership picture.
These have been the leadership tools I have used most in my toolbox. I hope they will help you go from an average leader, to a GREAT one.