Riding the TITLE Wave

What do I mean by “Riding the TITLE Wave”? Well, this is just a pet peeve button of mine that I have had pushed quite a few times over the past few months…and not just in Church. I have never been one to keep score of wrongs, only to keep mental notes of how NOT act as a Christian.

Join me for a little walk in my head, okay? A couple of months ago, I took a stroll down to one of our wonderful administration offices (won’t say if its City or County) attempting to make a change on an account of ours with completed form in hand. I was greeted by a new, very stoic matter-of-fact person who basically let me know by her actions that she wasn’t being paid enough to expend more time than a payment entry on me. She took my form back to a lady behind her whom I had dealt with for 16 years, obviously who had been promoted. Little Miss Stoic sashayed back and informed me that her “supervisor” said I would have to get another form filled out by my husband making this request because my name was not the only one on the account. REALLY?! So I’m thinking to myself, “If I was making a payment (like I’ve done for 16 years without him present) you would take it, but because I’m asking for a draft from a different bank account we changed to I have to get permission from my husband? I JUST want to pay you, that’s all.” “Yeah, das right,” says Little Miss Stoic, while sucking through her teeth and examining her fake nails with that “NEXT?!” look on her face. The Lady I had dealt with for over 16 years (whom I had done multiple favors for) just sat with a smirk on her face. Guess she doesn’t recognize me now since her promotion to such a high-and-lifted-up position of a dollar more on the hour. I just took the form, leaving for a second time WITHOUT my problem being fixed.

Later that week, I received a call from a very spiritual customer. Right off the bat, she began to tell me that “the Lord told me I am to purchase a home” in such and such neighborhood, and she wanted the best home available because she was “blessed and highly favored of God.” When I took her name, she made sure that I wrote down “Prophetess” at the front of it. I’m NOT joking! Unfortunately, the “Prophetess” failed to tell me that she had squeezed the very life out of her credit rating and couldn’t qualify to buy a Barbie Dream Home for $39.95! TITLES! UGH!

I even see this same phenomenon in church. Give someone a title and it makes them feel EN-titled and exempt from any job description outside their own! Sure, God’s people are SUPPOSED to be blessed, HOWEVER, they are SUPPOSED to live lives that bring glory to God in turn! Unfortunately, all we want to hear about is the blessing and perks to US. We take our title as “Christian” to mean that we are entitled to God’s Kingdom in its entirety, but we don’t want to carry the Cross of servanthood and self-sacrifice it requires. Away with the “I’m not over that project so I don’t want to have anything to do with it,” mentality! We have to get over ourselves if we ever expect God to really use us. It’s no wonder He said in His Word, “the harvest truly is great, but the labourers are few…” Luke 10:2

I believe with all my heart that a new generation of laborers is rising up to take their place, not only in the Church, but also in the Community. They are the GIANTS of our time who are ready to turn their world upside down with Truth, servanthood, integrity and high moral example. “…These that have turned the world upside down are come hither also;…saying that there is another king, one Jesus” Acts 17:6-7. These GIANTS do not need titles to validate their position with their Lord! Their philosophy will be this: “Some people see the glass half-empty, some see it as half-full, we simply see a glass of water and start looking for someone who is thirsty.” They are not satisfied to simply ride the Title wave, they want to start a Tsunami of Truth! “And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.” Rev 12:11. I say to these GIANTS: “GO!”

This is NOT Your Conscience Calling!

This is NOT your Conscience Calling!
Those of you who have known me for a while know very well that I am a big fan of social media. An addict?—No, but I’ll admit it right here in front of God and everybody that I have a definite affinity for people-watching. I love people! I love their quirks, funny quotes, their mundane routines and sometimes even their TMI (too much information) admissions. However, what I do not like is something I am seeing more and more these days and that is those who feel the need to be the “Conscience of the Masses.”

I have watched as those members of the Conscience Police spout out their poisons at someone who cut them off in the parking lot of the grocery store or, God forbid, didn’t get their order right. However, the first time they see someone else complaining about being done wrong, especially if the wronged spouter was a Christian, they weigh in with their two cents. They rail on that Christian relentlessly about how they are supposed to consider the upraising of their bully and why they may be bullying. Sure, hurting people hurt other people; BUT guess what? Christians sometimes have bad days too! We are not perfect beings floating around on some cloud of listless happiness offering everyone a pot shot at us or handing out forgiveness like coupons before its even asked for.

I overheard some un-churched friends of mine one day talking about how they HATE having to deal with a certain woman in town who worked at a prominent business all of us used. My friend’s words (and I quote) were “Celi, I sure hope that woman doesn’t go to your church, because if she does, I will NEVER set foot there. If she’s what a Christian is, I don’t wanna be one! I have gone into that business ten times or more and she has never once even smiled. She just stands there with a perpetual smirk on her face looking down her self-righteous nose at me. I was told she is an established member of a church here in town.” All I could say was, “I’m so sorry… but PLEASE don’t judge all of us by her actions.” Later, I saw that same lady blasting another Christian out on facebook for making an observed judgment conclusion that I totally agreed with. Suddenly, she had found a conscience somewhere in that bitter soul of hers and was enforcing her Christian Political Correctness on someone else.

I was talking to a self-proclaimed church leader the other day and he totally blew my mind. He admitted to interrupting the pastor during his sermon, walking down to the front and telling the entire congregation that he was taking his daughter off the membership and began pouring out details of her private sin. Now, do you think that poor girl will EVER go back to church after THAT? I certainly wouldn’t! I seem to recall the Lord Jesus saying something about casting the first stone? (John 8:7)

My point? As Christians, we have been called to love, teach, baptize, heal and teach some more. What we have NOT been called to do is act as the collective Conscience of everyone around us. Unfortunately, the only things we are sometimes teaching sinners is WHAT NOT TO DO! Yes, sometimes the Lord expects us to use His Word to call it like it is, but that is typically when it pertains to US, NOT others! Jude said it best: “Keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life. And of some have compassion, making a difference: And others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire; hating even the garment spotted by the flesh.” Jude 21-23

Good Grief!

“ I’m just SO angry with God, Celi – Why is God so unfair?!” said my friend as she sat forcefully down in my office. Actually, I didn’t know what to say in response to that tough question, so I silently prayed for direction and God’s wisdom, because I knew mine would be so insufficient at that moment. I asked her what was wrong and just sat in silence, listening to her pour out her hurtful story as her voice cracked and tears welled in her sincere eyes. “You know my dad has Alzheimers, right? I went to visit him today and he didn’t even know who I was! He asked me who I was and when I told him my name he said, “No you’re not! Little Sandra is running around here playing with the doll we just got her for her sixth birthday. That’s the sweetest little thing and I love her so much. I’m so glad her mother and I were able to buy her that doll. I’m just so happy.” She continued, “He doesn’t even know that I’m NOT little anymore! I am so hurt, Celina, I just don’t know what to think of a God who would allow this.”

Not having a clue what I was about to say to her, I just opened my mouth and was even shocked myself at what came out! “You know, Sandra – Alzheimers is possibly the most merciful thing God can do for some people.” She glared at me and said, “WHAT do you mean?!” At that point, I was really sweating it and wanted to look up to the Lord and say, “Yeah Lord, what exactly DO I mean?!” So I just prayed and kept opening my mouth for the Lord to help this hurting person. “Well, Sandra, think about it – he is RE-LIVING the best time in his life. In his mind, you ARE six years old and running around his legs thanking him for your new baby doll. He is truly happy and in his mind – it’s REALLY happening!” Before she could come across the desk and wop me one across the nose, I continued, “Think about it Sandra, we only get the opportunity to live the good times ONCE… he is living them TWICE! He’s in a state of euphoria, and he’s having the time of his life!”

Suddenly, her demeanor changed from defensive, her facial features went from turmoil to peaceful, and she said “I’ve never thought of it that way. That helps me so much. I’m so glad I talked to you.” I breathed a huge sigh of relief and told her, “I understand that Alzheimers is a horrible disease that robs so many people of their happy memories and depletes their bodies of even basic functions. However, it may help the survivors to understand that most of them really do re-live very happy moments in their minds. I have talked with so many children and care-givers who have lost loved ones to cancers or Alzheimers, etc. Many of them have said the sweetest moments they had during the course of their loved one’s sickness was the times they sat and listened to their loved one ramble on and talk, seemingly without any direction in their thoughts. I listened as one grown daughter talked of how she would cherish the sweet things her mother said as she lay dying of cancer. She said the deepest prayers she had ever heard in her life came from that dying mother. She only wished she could have recorded those golden words. My point to this post is, there can be some good found, even in grief. Grief is a complicated emotional roller coaster, causing its host to laugh one moment and cry bitterly the next. What is important to remember is that, for our own emotional good, we have to look for the goodness in every situation we face.

Sickness and the Role We Play In It

Sickness and the role we play in it can be a simple matter of what roles we are attempting to play in life. Now, not all sickness is because of our lifestyles; however, most of the time we bring sickness on ourselves. Yes - You can worry, work, push your limits and MAKE yourself sick! Excluding genetically passed on diseases, most sickness boils down to lifestyle choices, and worry. I have been alive and in the ministry long enough to see that worry has brought down more people than war, famine or disease ever could. Why do we worry and why do we stress out? Here is one topic I would argue is a primary reason we find ourselves under the thumb of worry: We step out of our INTENDED roles.

I have watched strong women be brought down hard and fast by sickness or disease because they were carrying too heavy a load. Unfortunately, most of those women were carrying the load they chose – even INSISTED upon lugging around. They tried to be the man AND the woman in the relationship. They would contend with their husbands on every issue, and even rationalize that they HAD to step up to the plate because the husband refused to do so. In reality, that husband was just too tired to fight the constant battle of taking his role because he had to fight for it all the time or he was “punished” after the fact. This is not God’s plan and there will be consequences to our constant demand for control!

Now, for all my feminist friends out there who are outraged right about now, let me clear the muddy water. Just as our shoulders are not strong enough to carry the responsibility of our husbands, equally as much, THEIR shoulders are not strong enough to carry out our roles - or God’s role for us either! Our responsibilities are equally as important, but it is PARAMOUNT that we remain in our vein of purpose. Even if you do not believe in God’s plan for men and women and the roles they play, this concept I am sharing is still true! Watch the twice-divorced corporate executive who scratched, clawed and demanded their way to the top fall ill with cancer, and suddenly, he or she starts counting regrets, wishing they had not had their priorities out of order.

You are only ONE person and you cannot MAKE things happen at your command all the time. The world is NOT going to stop turning if you are not there to spin the axis! The strong woman knows her limitations and is okay with them, and equally, the strong man knows his limitations and knows when to step back and let his Maker take the wheel.

What if I am a single male or female who HAS to play both roles? I do not care who you are, you do not HAVE to play BOTH roles. Allow the Lord to be that partner and you will never go wrong on the choices you make, and you will NEVER go lacking. I have known some very successful single adults who will tell you in a heartbeat that they live their lives as though the Lord is living with them (and by the way, He IS) always asking for His opinion, direction and help. They are always open to the wise counsel of a godly pastor, have a strong prayer life and are moldable no matter how difficult their past experiences were. These folks are complete in every way and there is always a calm aura about them. A very wise single mother of three told me recently when I was in awe of the precision of her decision making ability, “I allow Him to guide me… He CAN be trusted!” There is a reason why He stated in the Word, “Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.” Psalms 55:22 Our shoulders were not made to carry the load intended for HIM.

Leadership Ain't for Dummies

Leadership Ain't for Dummies! My former Psychology teacher would disown me for using "ain't" in my speaking and blogging, however, if one steps back and really analyzes the idea, it's true! It IS NOT for dummies (better, Mr. Fleming?) As a leader, it is my heartbeat to help create more, even better leaders than myself.
I have recently passed the torch in a position I was voted into about six years ago as the Ladies Department Secretary for the state of South Carolina United Pentecostal Church. I learned a couple of things (LOL) during the course of my tenure. Perhaps the primary lesson was that a position doesn't necessarily mean you are a good leader. Some folks simply ride the title wave. They covet the title,

but do not want to do the hard things leaders have to do to be a good leader.
Foremost, a good leader has to look inward to the tough issues they have maybe hidden deep down. If we do not understand ourselves, how then can we possibly understand those around us? A good leader will surround himself or herself with those who have strengths they do not possess and weaknesses they need to recognize and maybe even reveal, but not magnify. Everyone wants to be successful in their business, home and social lives. In order to enjoy that success we must maximize the strong points of others and help those weak ones around us to realize their hidden strengths.
I understand very well that this concept completely goes against many success secrets out there in the business world today. It’s a tough, cut-throat society! The secret to the success of many is climbing the ladder and turning off any emotion that would prevent you from climbing across others to get to the top. Only problem with that concept is those leaders with that mindset rarely enjoy a lengthy stay at the top.
Here are five points to help you hone your leadership skills. Hold on, it may become a very bumpy ride. Do you have what it takes to do the hard stuff?
1. Embrace the idea that others have ideas too! One way of getting involvement by others & much needed help for you & the goals you set is to listen to the ideas of others.
2. ADMIT that you are not ALWAYS right and realize that NOT EVERYONE THINKS LIKE YOU DO. Others cannot read your mind… they’re not IN your head. You have to communicate your expectations. When problems arise, sometimes the simple act of saying “I was wrong” will cause those who are following to respect you even more.
3. Empower those around you by delegating. No one died and made you God, so realize you can’t do it all yourself. Involve others who may not do the job as

proficiently as you, but still get the job done AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO IT! You may be in the position at a later date to share what you would have done to improve their work. Let the ones you are responsible for know that you believe in their abilities. Use positive, uplifting words of encouragement. Be excited & it will be contagious.
4. Show a spirit of thankfulness to those around you. Always stress that the goal was reached by each individual effort. Give verbal accolades as much as possible to everyone around you. No one knows the importance of the garbage man or the cleanup person until they are out for a few days!
5. Be honest with yourself and get rid of dead weight (even if it is your own negative thoughts) Surround yourself with people who will add to you and your goals. Not that we should only associate with people who make us look good… that is not the idea here. Simply, put: Avoid those naysayers who are consumed with negativity. Their negative energy will eat away at your entire group, one by one if it ever gets a foot in the door. Negative people will frustrate you on a constant basis until you find a way to weed them out of the leadership picture.
These have been the leadership tools I have used most in my toolbox. I hope they will help you go from an average leader, to a GREAT one.